Crossroad blues

I went down to the crossroads
tried to flag a low ride
Down to the crossroads
tried to flag a low ride
Nobody seemed to know me
Chale, everybody passed me by

You can run, you can run
tell my friend Chicano Soul
You can run, you can run…
tell my friend Chicano Soul
And I’m standing at the crossroads, vato
I believe I’m gonna go all the way down

This has been a strange year, but I guess that’s not exactly a revelation for anyone these days, huh? For me, I feel as if I am at the crossroads again, ready to choose another path. I’ve been here before and I wrote recently about how things feel eerily familiar now yet unknown. There’s a lot going on and even more that I want to talk about but I’ll keep this short as I don’t quite feel like spewing out 3,000+ words like I normally do, which brings me to my first point…

I miss vomiting at the bus station, which is to say that I miss chewing the fat on social media and just emptying my head on there without a care in the world. But as I’ve written about before (too much probably), social media is a toxic waste dump filled with miserable and unhinged people desperate for more company and that’s just not my thing any more. It hasn’t been for a long time.

As I said, there’s a lot going on right now, ch-ch-changes! But I have nowhere to go with most of it, which is an odd feeling. There’s some good stuff happening, folks! Sometimes, I’m struck with something funny or interesting, sad etc. and the knee jerk reaction to want to share it with people comes on strong. That’s what social media used to be for, at least for me. No longer though and that kinda sucks.

In case you haven’t noticed, I turned my social media accounts into ‘strictly business’ accounts. They represent an extension of my publishing business for the sole purpose of marketing it as a legitimate small press, which it is. No longer am I ranting on them, treating them as tools for activism, attacking people or treating them like most people do personal accounts. I am not seeking friends with these things, but rather new business. I met some good friends using social media over the years but the well is dry. People now are hard and their mouths full of sand and rot, neither of which is good for business nor my constitution.

I believe this to be best for the business moving forward – could be I’m wrong but I guess I’ll find out. Of course I could just create personal accounts again but that’s the thing; I don’t want to. I have long been over social media. I only remain on these various mediums because my business model requires it. Still…the desire to share personal things lingers. Why? Addiction I suppose, or the innate need to want to connect with people. I dunno, it’s a strange sensation, especially considering that I grew up before social media existed, but it’s an itch that will remain un-scratched.

I enjoyed sharing my record collection with people. I liked discussing film. I enjoyed sharing my guitar playing with others, and all the other things which I used to enjoy sharing on social media…the little things. The trouble is, the cost for sharing these things these days is being flooded with the toxic waters of fear and loathing and I’m adverse to drowning. It’s also confusing for people when you’re trying to operate as a business.

I don’t want to subject myself anyone’s ‘hot takes’ on anything any more. I’ve had enough. To put it simply: I don’t give a shit.

I’m not looking for a prophet and I lost my religion a long time ago. I find myself just wanting shoot the shit about the little things and move on but that’s no longer possible because most people these days don’t wanna talk about the little things. You can’t get to those little nuggets of coolness anymore without wading through a bunch of muck and shit.

I wish…well, I wish things were more like they used to be back on LiveJournal, years ago now. That was fun. That felt more like friends getting together and trading records, stories, jokes etc. Things were more relaxed. We fucked it all up though. Social media now feels like work. But like they say, you can’t go home again so there’s nothing much for me to do but lament about it, which is pretty boring. Sorry.

I’ve noticed people posting less frequently on these mediums lately, so I know it’s not just me who’s sick of all it at this point. I take that as a positive, even if I miss the old days. If I’ve unfollowed you recently don’t take it personal (if you’re even reading this), other than a few close relationships I’m just trying to keep things business-minded from now on.

Anyway, that’s about it on my end. I just felt like ranting. If a medium comes along for people who aren’t so serious all the time, have a sense of humor and don’t think the sky is falling, let me know. Until then, enjoy the shitshow.

In the meantime, I might start putting some of the small stuff on here. That poem up top came to me just as I was writing this post. It’s a nod to Robert Johnson and also to my friend, Art. I’m kicking myself because I didn’t think of it in time to include in the new book. Speaking of which…

The new book continues to make the rounds, slowly but surely. It’s a slow burn with these things. I’ve received some amazing feedback on it so far, which makes me feel validated, both as a writer and a publisher, so thank you. I’m expecting some local press for it soon and I was able to get it in a couple of local stores. The challenge with this stuff is always marketing so I’m trying different and new things this time hoping for a miracle. Word of mouth helps!

If you haven’t purchased your copy yet, you can do so on my store. I’ll sign your book and include some free bookmarks. They’re pretty cool, trust me. You can also buy it at Amazon or B&N – whatever is easier for you. Just know that I appreciate your support. Poetry is a hard sell even if you’re a well-known poet, it’s brutal when you’re an anti-social Chicano. 😉

That’s all I got, folks. I’ll see ya on the flip side. Stay loose, keep it metal and don’t forget to chimi your changa. \m/(>.<)\m/

– S|J|R

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