Lloyd indulges my weakness at the bar
a little hair of the dog that bit me
sinking its teeth into my subconscious mind
and tearing it for all it’s worth
wine, liquor and beer
just enough to satiate
just enough to hold it all back
just enough until I snap
-SJR/BSP ©2009
If I look ahead of me I see the barrel of a gun, looking back
only the charred remains of many yesterdays
a bullet in my head and Hell licking at my feet
there is no more running – I know that now
ten years of suppressed anger have found me
like an immigration raid long overdue
I am on the bus back to where
I should have always been
detained and deranged, ready
to be unleashed with a head full of furious ideas
and no one to understand the language
the shackles are thin and
when I do finally wash the blood from my hands
it will surprise no one, least of all
the man whose funeral I forgot or
the one who taught me how to kill
I have always been walking down this road, searching
for an exit sign along the way
weighing the borrowed time against
the alleged progress
even though fate was just another dirty word
I will succumb to it like a jealous lover
too blind to see what is ahead of me and too careless to look
after what I will leave behind
the pieces are no longer mine to pick up
- S. Joaquin Rivera, All Rights Reserved
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